So I’m at the doctor’s office today. There’s a young girl next to me checking in. The lady at the desk went to put an ‘08 sticker on her folder and she accidentally turned it around. She made a joke that it would be 1980 instead of 2008. The girl says…”I wasn’t even born back then.” I burst out into laughter and then quickly calm it, as it seems rude. But I was already ten years old by then! It just seems wrong that the 80s are now considered “history.” And this is dedicated to my niece Liss, who wasn’t even born back then, either! 
Can you say OLD???!!! February 6, 2008
The Search for the Perfect Tree…and a lapdance January 3, 2008
So I’m driving home one day before Christmas, and I spot this gem. Christmas trees for sale at a STRIP CLUB, people! The photo is not great, as it was snowing and I was literally slowing down while driving to snap it, but you get the idea. What’s next? Nativity scenes for sale at the local bar? Sheesh.
Conjure up this image…
Mom: Sally and Jimmy, get your coats. We’re going to pick out our Christmas tree.
Dad: Yes, I’ve got a special place picked out this year, kids.
(As they pull in the drive) Jimmy: Daddy, what’s “Las Vegas Revue?”
Sally: Daddy, what are showgirls? I want to be one.
Honk if you’re a moron! November 13, 2007
No, not the latest bumper sticker, but it should be.
I got honked at today. Apparently the dumbass thought that if he honked at me, I might pull over, leave my child in the car, forget about my husband, and run away with him. Obviously I’m kidding, but I just have never understood the honk! I guess some people might be flattered by it, but it just doesn’t do anything for me. Especially when you’re twice my age, GRANDPA!
Rawr October 23, 2007
This year marks our 10-year anniversary. I bought Ray season tickets for the Chicago Fire. (Major League Soccer) We have been going to the games and having a great time. It makes a really fun date night and we both love the game. Ray has played it since he was about 4. I have never played it but have grown to love it through Ray.
On Sunday we went to the last home game, in which the Fire played the LA Galaxy. David Beckham plays for the Galaxy. He is one of Ray’s idols, and he has always wanted to see him play. It was so cool to be able to make that dream come true! As you may know, Becks has been injured, but he was able to see game time on Sunday. PHEW! And can I just say rawr?!! He is gorgeous.
As a bonus, the Fire scored the winning goal in literally the last few seconds of the game to clinch a playoff spot! Woohoo! We get to go to another game on Thursday!
EFF off!!!!! October 9, 2007
Scene: I’m walking in to a department store with my daughter, who’s not quite two.
She loves to push the button for the automatic door, so I let her. We walk through. There is a man sitting there smiling at my daughter, noticing that she is the cutest girl in the world. She pushes the button for the second door. We get to the threshold of that door, when Selfish Bitch in her Sixties (SBS) walks through the door, right in front of us, and almost runs over my daughter!!! Her stupid friend opened the other door and was holding it open. Not sure if it was for me or for her even more stupid friend.
Me: Excuse me! We’re about to walk through this door and you just walked right in front of us, and you almost ran over my daughter!
SBS: … (gives look of complete surprise and utter ignorance)
Friend of SBS: …(gives look of complete surprise)
I walk in, disgusted.
I hear the Very Nice Man (VNM) talking loudly, so I turn around. He is exchanging words with SBS. Then he comes in the store to talk to me.
VNM: I just wanted you to know that I had words with her, too.
Me: Really??
VNM: She said, “What is she, some princess or something?” (At this point I’m restraining myself from running out after her to kick her raggedy wrinkled old ass.) So I said, “You cut right in front of her and almost ran over her little girl!” (Now I want to hug VNM but again I restrain.)
Me: Well, thank you very much! I really appreciate that! *grin*
VNM: I just wanted you to know that I stuck up for you. *grin*
Me: Thanks so much!
So to you, SBS and your stupid friend, EFF OFF! And to you, VNM, thanks for the chivalry. Much appreciated!
sheesh…
Some doobage October 3, 2007
Went to see Maroon 5 with my niece last night. No, not Lisslo. But I wish she could have joined us! The first act was Sara Bareilles, who was awesome!!! The second act was The Hives, who were horrible. Awful, angry screaming is how I’d like to describe them. Okay, so I’m old. Whatever. Maroon 5 put on a fabulous show!
There was the usual doobage smell in the arena. I get so offended by that. I personally have never tried the stuff. That doesn’t make me any better than anyone else, but if I’ve chosen not to try it, I shouldn’t have to smoke it involuntarily at a concert. I seriously got a buzz once at a DMB concert purely from the second hand doobage smoke. Made me feel sick. I know, I’m a prude.
Anyway, my niece and I were discussing how stupid it was to do that b/c you just never know if you’ll get caught. MINUTES later, sure enough, three cops were hauling off a couple of stoners. See? Toldya.
